Category Archives: Uncategorized

Deconstructing Dickweeds on OkCupid

I have had what you could call,  a tumultuous long-term relationship with online dating over the last several years. (Here’s an old blog I kept of some of my horror dates)  Sometimes it’s great, and I meet someone cool.  Other times, I … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Market Hall freaks me out

  Much like the Original Berkeley Bowl,  Market Hall in Rockridge totally  freaks me out. I guess I sorta believe in all that feng shui shit. I mean, in the sense that…certain kinds of  store layouts and aisle design can … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Lee Ford, you’re going down

  I’ve done some pretty wacky things  to get attention on the internet in my day. I’ve sexually propositioned Nigerian spammers.   I’ve forced hapless roommates into meatball costumes and then force-fed them tomatoes, while filming them.  I’ve stripped to a … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Naked, afraid and stumbling

Hey kids, here’s another spa story. Last year, I made the mistake of forgetting my contact lenses for a spa trip. Because of this error, and because of my Mr. Magoo-level nearsightedness I was left with two rather bleak choices: … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

An old woman farted on me at the spa (and I totally deserved it)

  Okay. Let me preface this story  by saying, I am always painfully aware of, and and  polite to old people. I always offer my seat on the train, and I have gone out of my way to help older … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Total Bitch at the Royal Cuckoo

Because of my wee  bladder,  I spend approximately half my life waiting in line for bathrooms.   But I don’t trip!   If I’ve gotta be there,  I will  find a way to have fun cuz that’s just me. Whether it’s doing … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

The Hippest thing that ever happened to me in Oakland

Everybody knows, there are no real hipsters left in San Francisco anymore. Only fake-ass hipsters.  The people who still listen to vinyl, collect manual typewriters, or have an autographed copy of The Boomer Bible, are all living in Oakland now. … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment